As the Sakura Fall
by Tsukiyomi no Mikoto
Summary: Nanao found her home beside her Captain and his favorite flowers, and waxes nostalgic about all that once was, all that she truly loved.


**A/N: Hello everyone! This is my first fanfic on this site. I hope you like it as much as I had fun writing it! Shunsui x Nanao is one of my favorite pairings in Bleach.**

**Italics are for future Nanao, normal text is for present Nanao.**

**And please drop a review while you're at it! I'd love some feedback on my first fanfic.**

**Have fun reading!**

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**As the Sakura Fall****  
**A Shunsui x Nanao fanfic

* * *

_It was spring in Seireitei, and the air was fragrant as the cherry blossom petals floated down to the fertile earth, tossed by the wind. She could hear a distant laugh, outside the compounds of their home__.__ No, just her home now. The sun smiled upon the Shinigami, signaling the beginning of a fresh new cycle, of putting pasts behind.  
And yet she would never forget the man who stole her heart forever, and kept it safe with him as he watched her from the stars._

* * *

Nanao Ise was a woman of ice, or so she had been told over the years. At one point in time, when she was still very young and so very rational, she had come to believe that; she found comfort in that statement. It implied that she was always cool and collected, rational and detached - unlike so many others who let their emotions rule their life. What a wasteful, unproductive way to lead life; it would lead only to making decisions you would later regret. And so she was happy with her mindset, proud of it even, proud that she could keep her division (and its captain) standing.

As she strode quickly across the grass, carrying a fresh stack of forms to fill out, she absentmindedly took in the various sounds of the division members, laughing and talking, shouting, or running. A few who passed her slowed their pace and bowed; she nodded and sometimes smiled warmly in return if it was someone she could count as a friend. Then again, she didn't have many of those.

It seemed to many, and it was quite true, that paperwork was always the thing on her mind. Though she did have space for other interests as well. Her mind was, no doubt, extremely efficiently organized – the result of over a hundred years of patience and diligence while at the Eighth Division.

Sometimes though, she would lose all control over her thoughts and her emotions would take over – a rare sight nowadays, except if she caught Kyouraku-taichou lazing around like he shouldn't be, neglecting division affairs and leaving all of it to her. The lapses in self-control used to be more common when she was younger; she was more prone to explosive behavior than she was now. Outside, she would appear to be a responsible, hardworking Shinigami, but inside, she was frequently a mess.

It was precisely those mental breakdowns that led her to evolve into the ruthless, stone-faced, efficient woman she was known as. Over a period of several years in the Eighth, she learned more to calm herself down and remain silent rather than react impulsively_. It was probably all for the best, because I'm happy with who I am right now_, she contemplated.

She remained introspective until her alert eyes caught a certain Kyouraku-taichou lazing under the largest sakura tree on the division compounds.

She had, of course, special reservations that allowed abandonment of all mental stability when it came to Kyouraku-taichou and his simply incorrigible behavior.

Exasperated, pushing her glasses up her nose, she shunpoed over to him, his face beneath the brim of his wide hat, his ridiculous – simply ridiculously flamboyant – pink haori loose around his shoulders. "Taichou!" A little bird on the branch above them screeched and flew away.

A long pause, Nanao on the verge of snatching his hat off his head and yelling even louder, and then he looked at her with calm brown eyes, lifting his hat a few inches above his face, a lazy smile spreading across his features. His voice was serene as he drawled, "Ah, Nanao-chan. Come enjoy the spring with me, won't you?"

* * *

_The first time she had agreed to that request was one of the many things about him and their relationship she would never forget, even though it was long, long ago. She remembered the smell of rain from the previous day's light drizzle, the dampness of the grass below her feet which yielded to the pressure her weight put on them, and the sakura petals dancing around her. His request was one of hope, but he had known too many refusals to actually expect compliance from Nanao._

_His surprise was lovely, she noted, when she demurely sat next to him and looked down at the grass. She remembered feeling uncomfortable and unwanted; he was probably just playing with her and maybe really didn't look at her as someone to sit below a sakura tree with and watch the petals delicately fall to the ground. Like only lovers would__._

_Her surprise, then, when he lifted a corner of his haori and draped it around her, pulling her closer by the waist. She remembered the heat in her cheeks and her fumbling fingers, but she managed to quiet her inner voices down and lean on his side, for the first time._

_Perhaps it was for the best that the heat of his body and his soothing words, combined with her fatigue, lulled her to sleep, because when the division members returned from training, they were all surprised to see the cold Nanao Ise finally having given in to her Captain's affections, curled up in the very haori that she always criticized._

_She had been very embarrassed when he revealed it to her; she couldn't so much as face anyone in the division properly. Not until Rangiku told her that many of the female Shinigami would have given a lot to have been in her place. And the men…well, who cared about them anyway? That had been her advice, at any rate, and it certainly helped._

_She remembered the scenes fondly, although she was probably missing out a few details. So many silly things she had worried about in the past… all of that was irrelevant now._

* * *

She took half a step back. How peaceful he had sounded, how warm his eyes were…she wanted nothing more than to place the stack of papers down and curl up to him. He wasn't teasing this time, and he wasn't being forceful. This time, she could respect the request, because he genuinely appreciated the beauty of the spring, and inviting someone into his tranquil thinking space which he so treasured was something very special, not something he would perhaps offer to every woman he tried to woo.

She couldn't say no. She couldn't deny that more than watching the delightful dance of nature in all its glory, she wanted to sit by him and feel at home.

"Well then, Nanao-chan? It's not so hard to decide." She was jolted out of her thoughts, and only then became aware that a highly unnecessary, wistful smile was beginning to play on her face.

She couldn't really leave the work alone, though. "The paperwork, Taichou." It was a half-hearted attempt. She knew it wouldn't work on him, that he wouldn't leave this tranquil scenery for anything, not even a sake party. She didn't want to go do it right now either. Her voice didn't come out all that commanding.

He slowly tilted his head towards her and looked at her; she immediately looked down at her feet. There was a wrinkle in her socks. How green the grass was today! She saw an ant scurry away between the blades with food in its delicate appendages; until with an exasperated sigh, Kyouraku-taichou rose from his preferred spring resting spot. "Taichou…!" He was really coming?

"Ah well, if you say so, Nanao-chan." No, no, this was wrong. Very wrong. Why did she think it was wrong? Of course, he would never agree to her request without any further persuasion or hesitation. But he did now. It didn't make sense.

"N-no…" He stopped and gave her a quick look. "What's wrong, Nanao-chan?" She honestly didn't know how to reply.

"No…I just meant I would leave these in the office and – um, join you here." What was she saying? What did she just say? Oh my goodness, she was shocked at herself. She just lost her best opportunity at getting him to finish off a load of work.

If he was surprised, he certainly didn't show it for more than a few seconds. Chuckling, he walked back to the tree and lay under it, tipping his hat over his face once more. "Nanao is always so unpredictable." He hadn't said "-chan" this time. She swallowed and ran back to the office to leave the papers in a neat little stack on a tray on the table. What she had said had just seemed right…and somehow she didn't regret it all that much.

When she stepped out of the office, she hesitated a few moments before making her way to his side and neatly settling herself beside him. A few of the division members still outside turned their heads, but didn't stare, perhaps for fear of being stared back at with greater ferocity. By Nanao, of course. Their Captain didn't mind.

At least she was ahead on her schedule. She inhaled the lovely air, warm and sweet with the fragrance of a thousand blooming flowers, and smiled inwardly as she heard the rhythmic breathing of the man beside her.

At times like this she wondered what would happen if she simply gave into all his extravagant gestures of affection. Would he shy away? Was he just doing it all just for the fun of it? Questions that had plagued her mind for years now; ever since she figured out she was hopelessly in love with him.

It was evening now. She rubbed her eyes and quickly scanned the area – she was mostly alone. Even Kyouraku-taichou had left her alone by the tree. She felt disoriented and heavy, and her mouth tasted bitter. It had been long since she had dozed off in the afternoon, but somehow this tree always had that effect on her. It was relaxing, calming and soothed away her worries and the wrinkles on her forehead. Just like the last time she allowed herself the liberty of resting beside him, he had left her sleeping beneath the tree. And just like the last time, his haori was around her.

She couldn't help but feel touched. It was always the small things about him that told her that somehow, he would never be far away, that he really did care.

Slowly, she lifted herself up, shook herself out of the gigantic silk clothing article and neatly folded it, hoping no one was seeing her. (They had all seen Nanao like this far too many times to actually bother anymore.) Then she quickly walked over to the office to hand the haori over to him.

He wasn't there. She hated having the office empty on evenings like this. She'd never admit it, though. It was just the loneliness that accompanied the evenings when everyone in the division was out either working or frequenting Seireitei's bars with their friends. The loneliness that she knew she shouldn't be feeling.

Almost by instinct, she climbed the stairway to the rooftop, and saw her Captain lying there, a bottle of sake his only companion, looking at the moon emerging shyly from behind the clouds. She cleared her throat and he didn't so much as look to say, "Ah, Nanao-chan~! Awake now, are we?"

"Yes, Taichou. Forgive me for falling asleep so irresponsibly." It was an empty apology, but only because she felt silly after having said that at least twice every year. He waved it away. She placed the neatly folded haori by his side. "Your haori." He nodded and continued gazing skyward, until he intoned, "Want to join me in stargazing…Nanao-chan?"

"No, thank you, Taichou, I have work to complete."

"This late in the evening?" He sounded like a pleading child. "Ah…Nanao-chan, you were so cute when you were sleeping~!"

"Please, not any more of these undue comments, Taichou." She withdrew and climbed back down the stairs just to miss him breathe, "…undue? Oh _no_, Nanao-chan, you don't know how beautiful you are…"

It was ok, though. She didn't feel so lonely anymore. Everything was alright, and he'd always be there. Of that she was sure.

* * *

_She had lost track of the seconds, minutes and hours as they leisurely turned day into night and brought the twinkling stars into the sky. She was tired, so very tired of everything. At her side was a sake bottle she sometimes drank from when she was feeling far too desolate._

_She poured herself some and sipped the liquid gently, acutely aware of it slipping down her throat. Her movements had all slowed over the years, hadn't they? She recalled the days when she was so full of boundless energy to devote to her work and smiled unwillingly as nostalgia claimed her for the night once again__._

_She remembered the first time she had been kissed by Shunsui, his rough stubble brushing her cheek, his lips' gentle pressure on hers, his tongue which tasted sweetly of sake, and his body heat as he pressed her to the wall. She remembered her surprise and her heart straining to break through her ribs, and her fingers involuntarily grasping his haori as her lips yielded to his._

_She remembered when he had gone down on one knee to ask for her hand in marriage…he always liked the conventional methods better, didn't he? She shook her head, smiling. She accepted, of course, and she thought she could cry as he hugged her – she never thought she would ever get married. And this…this…she never expected to be with someone this amazing. She never expected to love someone so much. She would never regret her decision._

_She remembered everything about him, his frustratingly adorable compliments which she couldn't doubt anymore, how he remembered every single anniversary and how he was always there through her swaying moods. How he always thought she was lovely. How she could finally let go of herself and enjoy herself completely with him around. How they would miss each other when they each had to leave on missions. How he made himself so comfortable around the house, and how his warm presence melted any remaining icicles which pierced her heart. _

_How he was as calm as ever, hat over his face, when she walked in one morning, and he never responded to her reiatsu or her voice as she entered the living room and asked him if he had been sleeping on the couch the whole night through. How she gently lifted his hat, placed it by her side and tried to shake him awake, but he never so much as stirred, his serene smile still on his face._

_How her heart had raced when she noticed the chill creep through her arm, when she realized his reiatsu wasn't blanketing her anymore. How she frantically tried to pass her own reiatsu into him, but it merely slipped through. How there were tears streaming down her face as she tried every technique she knew as a kido expert, fingers wet as she routinely wiped away the wetness on her cheek and tried to shake him awake. _

_How she let out an earth-shattering cry when she realized that he would never respond to anything she did anymore. That his earthen eyes were forever closed to her, that his voice would never soothe her stress away, that she would never be able to smile and blush at his flamboyant gestures._

_That she was finally truly alone in this world._

_He was calm even then…wasn't he? Smiling as he always was. He had always been her source of happiness, her rock of protection. And she was standing alone in the sea, now, slowly being weathered away by the waves. _

"_I love you." She knew he would be listening, even now. She liked to believe he was always there for her. He always had been. Perhaps he still was. She too was old now, but she too was allowed to believe. And she chose to believe in the __one man who had never let her down. _

_It took her almost an eternity to rise up and shuffle over to the giant sakura tree they had grown in their garden, a tribute to all the lovely times they had spent under the one in their division. For the last time, she sat below its shade and watched the petals fall, eased off the branches by the wind. She could feel the silk of his haori gently rest on her shoulders, and the creeping cold in her bones stilled for a while. The sakura tree and its leaves and blossoms rustled around them, like it had every spring, like it always would._

_Perhaps it had been too long, perhaps the pain of outliving the one man she truly loved had simply become too much of a burden to carry any longer. The falling petals wove themselves into an image of him. Like always, he smelled of flowers and incense and…Shunsui Kyouraku. He held out his hand to her as she sat below the tree, and she took it, drinking in his image. There was a sudden warmth in her body, and she knew they would never be separated any longer. He would always be there for her, and she would always be there for him. _

_Under the tree, Nanao Ise lay in blissful sleep that wouldn't be disturbed by his absence anymore._

* * *

Even now, the Eighth Division's members say that there is one sakura tree in the compound that has been standing for thousands of years, and sometimes they see a tall man in a brilliant pink haori and a petite girl with glasses curled up together. Every spring, as the sakura surround them.


End file.
